Simple Truths #2

Ha ha I did it, it's been 5 - maybe even 6 days since I last posted.

Simple Truths #2

Be honest, 

Be really really honest with yourself and don't let fear get in the way.

                               .  .  .

            

Got a phone call from an old friend, we don't talk as often as we used to but when we do it's as if we saw each other yesterday.
She was ringing to sound me out 'bout stuff'.
:o)
She's smart enough to know 2 things before we even begin talking, she just needs reminding that she knows them.

#1. Provided that it's not a) life threatening, b) pet in the washing machine or c) child holding scissors and a handful of hair,
take a slow deep breath in and out.
Stand back and look at a situation from the outside.
Cast a *'glass' eye over what's causing you grief/distress/irritation (difficult - yes, but so is walking for the first time...and most of us get a grip on that).
If you can do that, paths of clarity, reason and sometimes even wisdom appear.

*'Glass' eye - the ability to look at a person or object free of emotional reaction or attachment.

#2. Trust your gut instinct, unless you've added alcohol, drugs or insanity to the mix.

Now... Thing #1 is not always that easy to do so -

When you think you don't know what you want - 

Or what to do -
write these headings down at intervals along a page

• What I want.
• What I need.
• What I can live with.
• What I can't live with

Under each point write your list, with regard to the issue at hand......
This only works if you are prepared to be honest.
It can be somewhat surprising/confronting to see your 'list' in front of you for the first time.
When you have clarity in your own thoughts, wants and needs, then moving forward may not be the easiest option but it is always the best foundation for the rest of your life.

My mother taught me the 'list' method when I was 14.
Blew my mind.
To cut a long story a little shorter, I had gone to The Mosman Hotel to see a band with a friend the same (under)age as myself, an older (legal) sister and some older friends. Honest to god - we were there to listen to music - my memory is hazy but it might have been The SunnyBoys, Stig or Box Of Fish (1 or 2 of you were present and may remember this incident) anywho..... my friends mother, Hello Mrs Watts! got us busted.
I mean - she 'brought' it - the whole kit and kaboodle, made a scene, threatened the Hotelier, ground her daughter, tried to ground me too!!!!!! LOL  blah blah blah, but it didn't end there, she saved the best till last..... (Now I am the mother of a girl I personally think she didn't go far enough - you listening Monkey???)
And for her last trick Mrs Watts rang and admonished my mother for letting her daughter (that'd be me) lead her daughter astray...HA! If you'd known my friend you'd be saying HA! too.
It wasn't enough that she'd ruined (albeit short term) her daughters life, she had to ruin mine as well.

Actually, the truth was that had she known ANYTHING about the people we were with and in fact had she actually known her daughter a bit better she would have discovered there was less to worry about than had we been hanging out at a park/train station/abandoned building or the local scout hall.
Yes, we were breaking the law....., but we were doing so responsibly..... (are you buying it?) - for christs sake we weren't even drinking!!!! mmmmaybe..........

I considered not going home - EVER.... for fear of what would happen, but it's a challenge to rent a room, buy food and pay bills on $10 a week pocket money.
My mother was waiting, she motioned me to the dining room table and told me to sit down.
She then proceeded to recount the phone conversation she'd had with Mrs Watts and asked me to tell her what had happened.
Waiting... waiting... waiting for the sword to fall.......
She placed a pad and a pencil in front of me and placed one in front of herself.
Then she said,
"I want you to write a list of all the reasons you think what you did was okay, and then next to that a list of all the reasons why you'd think I'd be upset and disappointed with you, and I'll do the same."
"Then you can write out what you think is a suitable punishment as will I".
!
!!
!!!
Who was this woman and what had she done with my mother!!!!!
New form of torture maybe - appear all nice, calm and reasonable and then, when you least expect it...........
The simple truth to what she had done was to make me think, in a reasonable and calm manner about what had actually happened - weigh up the pros and cons, consider both other people and myself, the options available and the most appropriate way/s to resolve the issue/problem.
I love my mother, I always have (even when I momentarily hated her I still loved her) and she had pokered me in the smartest possible way.
Not only was she spot on with my need for approval despite my f*** you all attitude; knowing that my acknowledgement of her disappointment in what I'd done was bound to induce more regret in me than any other punishment legally available to her but she'd cleverly gifted me one of the most valuable tools I could ever learn to use.
Kudos to her I say.
Aside from that, my mother trusted me, she still worried as mothers do, but just for the record - we both thought you OVERREACTED in the most massive way Mrs Watts.........., just sayin...........